Catastrophe
by FenrysTheWolf
Summary: Shane has been planning this since he first met Tessa. Was he foolish to think it would actually become reality? Probably! Read on to find out what hilarious catastrophe's follow Shane's proposal, preparation for the wedding and then the actual wedding itself!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys! So for starters, I'd like to give awesome idea bonus points to Carin from light-and-Shadows-Mist-and-ice for coming up with this idea! Sorry I'm just starting to write it now! Also if you haven't heard of them or read any of their stories I very very VERY much recommend it! All of their stories are very fun and interesting….. And angsty ;D Also I didn't know what to call this but…. It's basically just a big disaster. And I already have a story called that…. So voila: Catastrophe! Enjoy! (Side note: If you haven't yet read Forgotten I highly recommend it, that's when these characters first get introduced.)**

 **Shane's POV**

Shane had been planning this for exactly a year. A year being when he first met Tessa, of course. Was he foolish to think she'd fall in love with him just as he did her? Probably. Was it a horrifying idea to have hope that this day might become reality when he'd just met her? Absolutely. Now that this day was here, though, he was determined to make sure everything went perfectly.

He was sitting in the top of a tree, using shadows to subtly hide him. Any minute now, Linh, who'd become great friends with Tessa, would lead her down the path towards his tree.

Now, the plan was when she stood under the tree, he'd swoop down by levitating, land in front of her in the formal 'will you marry me' position. When she said yes, everyone who was hiding in the bushes would leap out and congratulate them. That…. Wasn't what happened.

Just as planned, Linh stopped beside the tree, and Tessa, right on cue, stopped beside her. Shane gathered his concentration, stood up on the branch….. And before he had the chance to levitate off of it, the branch snapped, sending him tumbling down, hitting every single branch practically, which earned a large number of swears at the tree. He landed in the bushes below, right on top of Fitz who yelled at him, which sent up a large amount of leaves.

A stupid wasp also decided to intervene, stinging Shane's neck. Letting out a sharp cry, Shane tried to swat it away but then the stupid grumpy horrifying creature stung Fitz, who also responded with a shout. Shane's flailing hands, to make it worse, wacked Fitz in the face which started an adult hissy fight.

How had this gone so wrong? So…. SO wrong? A hand reached through the bushes to pull Shane up, who now had twigs and leaves in his hair. Gratefully, he accepted it. The hand hoisted him up, revealing a beautiful Tessa who was, honestly, _trying_ to contain her laughter but wasn't doing so great.

Trying to hide his embarrassment at his extreme failure, reached into one of many pockets in his now ruined, shredded, dirty jacket. He felt around his pocket but as if _he hadn't already had the worst luck in the world,_ couldn't find the small, jeweled box that held a beautiful ring inside.

Muttering more curse words, Shane dove back into the bushes in a hurry. After about a solid two minutes, he felt a small box buried underneath a bunch of STUPID THORNS! Grimacing with pain as the sharp thorns pricked his already hurt hands, he grabbed the box and pulled it out of the bush.

His hands shook as he slowly opened the scraped up box. What if the ring was destroyed? It was going to be so amazing when he saw the care he'd put into this ring. He hadn't even ordered it- he'd made it himself.

Shane let out the breath he'd been holding back when he saw the unscathed ring nestled inside the box. He stumbled into a kneeling position in front of Tessa. However his knee holding himself up was shaking so bad, it buckled underneath him, sending himself face first into the ground. The ring tumbled out of the box, spiraling through the air. Shane could practically imagine it as it hit the ground, shattering into a million pieces.

Tessa, thank god, was awful quick and grabbed the ring mid-air with telekinesis. She spun it around in the air slowly, studying the precise detail Shane had put into it.

Inside Shane's mind, though, everything was shattering. His hopes of a future, hopes of marrying Tessa, hopes of regaining his dignity, hopes of riding a dinosaur, were slowly splintering into a million shards.

With a smile, Tessa pulled Shane up to a standing position, pulling him into a kiss that shook him from his despair. Everyone who'd been waiting jumped up, cheering and congratulating them even though, Shane later pointed out only to get an eye roll from Tessa, that she hadn't technically said yes. It was enough, though, and Shane thought perharps….. Perhaps one day he might indeed have a chance to ride a dinosaur.

 **A/N: I hope you guys liked that! There will be more, though, don't worry! Two more chapters are coming soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! Sorry I haven't updated in like fifty million years, but I am now, so YAY! Um…. So here's the responses to the reviews.**

 **Lovekotlc: Glad you like it! And also that you agree with Shane that his plan had potential. Of course, though, there is more failure on the road ahead ;)**

 **light-and-Shadows-Mist-and-ice: :D**

 **Shane's Pov**

It'd been five months since Shane's epic proposal failure which he still felt embarrassed about. Today he had a chance to redeem his dignity. Tomorrow was the wedding, so if Shane could just make it absolutely perfect today, it would be a great day tomorrow.

Tessa had placed Shane in charge of decorating. He strode into their house, towards the kitchen where Tessa was currently baking something that smelled delicious.

"Hey, Tess! I'm just going to the store to get some decorations, then I'll head over to the wedding gazebo thing," Shane exclaimed, kissing Tessa on the cheek. She blushed before waving him off.

Shane had recruited some help for the project, a fellow shade named Tam. His twin sister, Linh, was good friends with Tessa. He met Tam in mysterium by a store labeled 'decorations'.

"So, do you have any theme for your wedding or are we just going to ransack this place?" Tam wondered, his gaze on some dark lacy napkins with even darker shadows with red eyes.

"Tam we are _not_ going for the death shadow look," Shane scolded. Tam reached out a hand to touch the napkins before sighing.

"We should go…. With all white," Shane proposed.

"I guess…." Tam sighed, again.

They ended up getting white lacy napkins with pale blue birds on them that looked very much real. Shane found some white streamers only they were made of silk with little black birds on them. Tam approved of the black birds, and had found pale blue plates with little black swans on the rims. They both thought the black swans were appropriate considering they were part of the Black Swan.

Together, with bags of the decorations on the arms, they gathered all the shadows from the store and concentrated them on the ground under their feet. They'd learned that with both of their shade powers working together, they could travel anywhere they wanted with the shadows. Swiftly the shadows then started to crawl up their legs, and when they were completely furled up in the shadows, they disappeared.

Sure, they could've light leaped, but where was the fun in that? Shane whispered _light forest_ and then they reappeared, the shadows crawling back to where they normally would sit.

In front of them was a beautiful white gazebo with elaborate designs. They set down their bags. Then Shane silently cursed.

"What?" Tam asked.

"We forgot to buy the tables and chairs," Shane muttered.

"We could make SHADOW TABLES! It would be the COOLEST thing EVER," Tam shouted. Already the shadows started to crawl together in the shapes of elaborate tables, slowly solidifying. It was rare that Tam was ever in a good mood about something, except when it came to good hair days and shadows.

"Tam no! No shadows, we aren't celebrating someone's death," Shane responded, waving his arms to make the shadows disappear. Tam glared at Shane.

"Fine. I'll run back to the store and get some tables and chairs," Tam sighed. He liked sighing a lot.

Shane watches as his friend disappeared into the shadows.

"Well, I guess I could start hanging the streamers," Shane muttered to himself. He pulled out the streamers and levitated himself to the top of the gazebo. Unraveling the streamers, he tied the first one around the top of the gazebo and walked in the air over to one of the light grey trees with blue leaves that glinted in the sunlight.

Shane wrapped the streamer around the branches then down the trunk until it was gone. It took awhile, but finally he had the streamers going from the top of the gazebo and into eight different directions wrapped different trees.

Finally Tam got back.

"What took you so long?" Shane demanded.

"I'm sorry, I saw a hair styling store and it had like…. ALL the hair products," Tam sighed dreamily. In had ten other bags on his arms that had a big, fancy _ALL THE HAIR PRODUCTS YOU COULD EVER NEED_ label on the middle.

"Oh my god, Tam….. Ok, where are the tables and chairs?" Shane asked.

"Right here," Tam exclaimed with pride. Shane liked the tables and chairs he'd chosen, not stupid fancy but not stupid simple, either.

Together they set about moving tables into one area where there would be the food after the vows, and the chairs on either side of the makeshift aisle. It took a while before everything was ready for the big day tomorrow, however it was worth it.

Tam pulled out his leaping crystal to go back home, and gave Shane a solid nod like the Tam he is before leaping away. As soon as he'd left, of course all went to hell.

From somewhere within the forest, Shane heard a loud roar like sound, followed by continuously increasing thuds. It was only a matter of seconds before three deadly sharp horns impaled one of the streamers. Shane immediately recognized it as a triceratops. What one was doing here he didn't know.

Suddenly, he was lifted off the ground by the beast and tossed onto it's back. Flailing like mad to grab one of the smaller spikes around the back of the dinosaurs head before he slipped, Shane finally managed to pull himself up to an upright position.

Being jostled around like mad, it was hard for him to follow where they were going, but he did know that the dinosaur had managed to knock down countless streamers, bulldoze dozens of chairs and knock down almost every single table. Now, they were headed straight for the gazebo. With a scream of pure panic, Shane leaned far forwards in an attempt to grab the dino's horns and lure it around the gazebo. Giving the horn a hard yank to the right, the beast grunted but continued forwards.

On impact, the gazebo crumbled, the remaining streamers fluttering to the ground. Since everything possible just HAD to go wrong, Shane caught a whiff of smoke coming from nearby. Surely it wasn't fire season, though? As if by some dark sorcery, the birds from the streamers all let out a shrill screech and opened supposedly inanimate wings and fluttered away.

The triceratops seemed to have a deathwish, as he ended running straight for a now visible line of towering flames and smoldering trees. With a strangled whimper, Shane rolled off of the dino's back and landed in the yet untouched grass. Everything hurt.

As his vision slowly grew black, the last thing Shane saw was a petite girl waving her arms, forcing the fire to back off and die.

 **A/N: Hi guys! I hope you liked that, I just kinda let my imagination run loose in the end, I must admit. Also you might have noticed my name changed, it's now Wolflet as you can see, along with my profile picture. For those of you who know me by my past name, it was IggyChewingOnAShoe. Anywhos, thanks for reading this and see ya!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello guys! I bet you're probably here for the grand finale of Shane fails? Well…. If so, and I hope so, you're in luck!**

 **light-and-Shadows-Mist-and-ice: yay!**

 **Shane's POV**

Shane swatted Biana's hand away as she reached up to fix a stray hair. He was a feral child, and it would stay that way. He was in a horribly uncomfortable tux, with his hair gelled much to his extreme sadness.

Today was the day. They'd managed to fix Shane's previous disaster, and it looked even better than before. He could barely hold back his excitement at the prospect that after this, they would be married. It was everything he'd dreamed of. Except, of course, the hair, though Biana had insisted.

Getting up, Shane ran a hand through his hair earning a death glare from Biana, which he returned paired with a smirk. He opened his bedroom door and strode to the leapmaster, careful to not peer into Tessa's cracked bedroom where he could hear her getting ready with the help of Linh. Sighing in frustration at Shane's refusal to cooperate, he heard Biana go to check on Tessa.

Light forest was even more beautiful in the morning with fresh dew glinting on the leaves and the grass sparkling. Birds sang in the trees, and he also caught sight of a megaloceros, basically a giant elk, grazing in the distance. God if that thing ruined this wedding like that blasted dinosaur….. Although he didn't admit it to anyone, he'd actually kinda enjoyed riding it. He'd FINALLY ridden a dinosaur! Sure, he'd also half trashed the place but still.

Shane took his place in the middle of the gazebo, except off a few inches so Tessa could share the middle. He smiled at his friends, which were like….. eight -ish people. Not once in his life had he ever had many friends. Plus, he and Tessa had wanted to keep this wedding small. Also in the gazebo was Tiergan, who was going to be marrying them. Though he hadn't realized it, apparently Councillors were legally able to marry people.

It would be approximately five minutes before the bride arrived. Shane tapped his fingers against his leg, trying to figure out everything that could go horribly wrong so he would be prepared.

The world could blow up for some reason. Aliens could attack. More stupid dinosaurs could trash this place. That deer thing back there could gore someone. There could be an earthquake. A tornado. Another fire. Endless possibilities.

Finally, he saw Tessa striding towards them with her little sister, Keira beside her. Biana and Linh rushed to take a seat without being to much of a distraction. When Tessa came closer, Shane's breath caught on how beautiful she looked.

Her hair was curled with small gems glinting in the sunlight. Tessa's dress was pure white, with a sweetheart neckline, rimmed with opals. The fabric was a little bit ruffly twisty type of deal as it swooped down from the neckline. It split halfway down, swirling back to her back. From there, the skirt had little diamonds sparkling on the fabric, which hugged her legs down to the top of her thighs before spreading out. She was beautifully perfect.

Before he could stop himself, he flashed her a smile and she smiled back with perfect teeth. He panicked a little bit as she climbed the stairs onto the gazebo, thinking of how he could catch her should she trip. Of course, though, _she_ had good luck and made it up safely. They both turned to face Tiergan.

"We are here to witness the bonding of Tessa Skye and Shane. They have proven countless times that they truly are the perfect….." For at least a minute, Tiergan went on rambling about how they were meant for each other and what not.

"Repeat after me, I, Tessa Skye, willingly take Shane's hand in marriage and promise to love, respect, and cherish him until the end of forever," Tessa had turned towards him and repeated as he said.

"That no matter what should happen, we will always be one," Tiergan continued. Then he held out a small ruby red pillow with gold rims with a beautiful ring on it. Carefully, she picked it up, and slid it onto Shane's finger.

Shane said the same things as she did, only changing the name, and slipped her ring on her finger.

"Should there be no objections to the pairing of Shane and Tessa Skye…." he paused, waiting for someone to object. No one did.

"The bride and groom may kiss," he finished. Shane pulled Tessa against him, wrapping one arm around her waist and burying the other in her hair as he pressed his lips against hers. They stood there, enjoying the moment, until of course Keefe cleared his throat. Just like he ALWAYS did.

"Um… Hate to break the gooey moment of you two lovers, but there's some mallowmelt over there calling me, so if you could hurry up that'd be great!" Keefe exclaimed, nodding towards the table of food.

Shane shot him the mother (or father?) of all glares, kissing Tessa one last time before announcing food time. And yes, he literally shouted "ok food time now". Tessa, for some reason, elbowed him rather hard in the side for that but what was he supposed to do? He was just being straight forward.

He thought that maybe, finally, he was done screwing literally everything up. But it seemed that nope the gods hated him. As he moved towards the table with a huge, towering cake, one that Sophie had taught Biana how to make, he tripped on a stupid tuft of grass.

His eyes widened as he plummeted, face first, into the cake. He muttered the god of all curse words followed by dozens more. Using his arms to push himself up, the extra force made the table shake and collapse. Great, now he was covered in cake AND dirt and grass! So much for Biana's hairdo.

Tessa grabbed his hand and yanked him up.

"You really can't do anything without messing it up, can you?" She said. Shane was about to have a mental worthless breakdown before she smiled, a small laugh tumbling out of her mouth. Meanwhile everyone else was on the floor dying from laughter.  
"I…. I'm sorry I don't know what happened will you ever forg-" Shane started but Tessa pulled him into another kiss, despite him being filthier then when he'd lived in the woods.

"Shut up, dork, I don't care, because no matter what I still love you."

 **A/N: Hi guys! I hope you liked that! Anyways, if you have any more story suggestions, add them in a review or something (Seriously it helps me tonnes when you guys review) anyways thanks for reading, see ya!**


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